A few things got me thinking today

The first big news story (which to me wasn't really news) was that out of the MILLIONS of dollars the hardworking people of the US are donating to Haiti - they will only see 1 - ONE - penny of each dollar for actual aid. No wonder that place is in such a world of hurt. Whenever someone tries to help them either corruption (ie - their own countrymen or outsiders) are stealing what was donated to them in the first place.

This is why I didn't donate anything.

I did a lot of thinking at work today. About bills, money in general and a few other things. I have goals I want to meet. I have yet to really think about how to obtain them. A few I know what I have to do I just have to get started on them. Others will require more thought and planning. Some sacrifices, some changes in daily living, etc. Most will be easy to accomplish. Others will be a bit more tough for me.

I do think I can reach the goals I have in mind. It is just a matter of me deciding to do it and stick to them.

The President is talking to the nation tonight. I am not watching. I don't have the energy and I am not a big TV person. I know - I sell them, I know them inside and out and I have them in my home.

Right now - the TV is on but so is the humidifier. And the humidifier is on high so I can't hear the thing anyway. Can't or won't turn it up as KK is in bed and I don't want to wake her up so I am sitting here typing away before bed with the TV on low and the fan on the humid on high.

Real exciting life I lead. lol

I looked at my face today in the mirror (shocker I know! Like it is the first time I have ever done so right?). I saw the beginning of some wrinkles and lines. I have earned them and am surprised I have not seen them before now.

So I ran to Mallwart and bought some OLAY Regenerist stuff. A daily moisturizer (at 19.00 a bottle yo!) and some night cream stuff that smells absolutely horrid (at 10.00 a bottle!).

This shit had better deliver on the promises the boxes made. For that price it should clean my bathroom and sweep the kitchen for me also.

As I sit here smelling this horrid stuff I am wondering why we women spend so much money to look "good". I mean - really - who do we want to look good for? Ourselves? HAHAHAHA - noooo, do we want to look good for our significant others? Once in awhile. Ok - maybe more than once in awhile but still. You want to know who I really think we want to look good for? Other women.

Yup. Other women. Wanna know why? Because we are our own worst critic/enemies. We profess to love each other no matter what (till one of us gets a bug up our ass about something. Then watch the fireworks! They will last for years!!) but we still judge each other on our looks, clothes etc.

Most anyway. I have a few and by a few I mean I can count them on one hand, good friends who honestly don't give a shit what I wear and if I put makeup on or not every day. They just like ME. And I love them for that.

So I dress up for them when I see them! LMAO.

I love them for who they are and could give a rats ass if they are wearing a potato sack or dressed to the nines. I am happiest when we are just hanging out and being bums together, lamenting the cleaning that needs to be done but won't be today, the things our kids do or have done, the things spouses/partners do/did, etc. Just being friends.

Remember how when we were small and when we were with our friends all we cared about was being together and just laying in the grass all dirt smeared from running and playing jump rope and tag then just staring up at the clouds trying to see shapes etc?

Those are the kinds of friends I want today. Friends who will just stare at the clouds with me and find shapes of animals, buildings, faces in them. Talk about everything and nothing. Friends who don't judge, just accept.

Isn't that what we all want really? And for some people we find it right away. For others they search for a lifetime and never find that. I find that sad. Sometimes they don't find as they have their expectations set too high. Others just turn to the wrong people time and again, never learning from previous relationships. I feel for them but at the same time I want to slap them upside the head and ask what the hell is wrong with them?

But I firmly believe that people come into our lives for a reason and when that reason is fulfilled sometimes it is time for them to leave. It isn't always easy or right but that is life and that is how it goes. We can either chose to accept it, learn from that person(people) and move on or stay stuck in the woe is me mentality.

I chose to move on and learn and grow. I thank them, each one, for the things they have taught me, even the ones I no longer like or care to even think about anymore. They all taught me something about myself. I appreciate that.

There are more thoughts floating around in this head of mine but right now it is almost 10:30pm and I am exhausted. More later.